On Legalizing my Alien Status and Such

So the authorities in Dubai are actually going ahead with legalizing my residency here. Now why would any self-respecting region of the world want to do that? I have to admit though, that I have been such a good, obedient boy that I can't think of any reason that they wouldn't do so, subtract the incessant flirting and being the tourist that I am, of course. They drew blood, and x-rayed me then stamped my forehead with the label 'Legal Alien' and booted me back to the workforce where I will resume my duties as a corporate drone.

Now if anyone can be nice enough to give me an Emarati passport?

If there is any high-ranking official reading this now, even though I doubt that I have any audience other than 14-year old girls who got tired from hours of facebooking and decided to randomly scour the blogosphere, will you please consider giving me a passport? I promise to be a loyal, law-abiding citizen. I once saw an accident here and was the first to call 911. Errrr, I mean 999. (Damn, now I understand why they were so late, and the poor dude had to lose a leg) I'll do anything you require from me, I swear it. As a matter of fact, just give me any unlicensed projectile-shooting object, and just throw me at the Al-Wafi mall robbers' nest or Iran or anyone you don't get quite along with (Please choose Iran, there's lots of fiiiine and loose chicks there). I don't require any hardcore training; my dad was a Fedai' freedom fighter (every Palestinian's father was a Fedai') so I think it's inherited in the genes or something. Push comes to shove, I always have my internal, self-destructing mechanism, i.e. terrorist suicide bombing. Now let me check where that button is again (poking my belly button) Oh here it is. Still there. Thank God. Safe for one more day.
So do let me know, I'll be eagerly waiting your response : expated-in-dubai@hotmale.com

(I'm kidding don't take this post seriously. Actually, don't take anything I say seriously. But really, if you want to give me an Emarati passport or an espionage mission with lots of hot chicks and super cars, please notify me 30 days in advance at my real email address: expated-in-dubai@hotmail.com and I'll consider it)


localexpat said...

hahahahah hilarious :-)

Expated in Dubai said...

Thank you localexpat for your appreciation of my demented sense of humor, you don't happen to be a 14-year old, do you? Hehe i'm just kidding..Could you arrange for me to get an Emarati passport, at least? No i'm kidding, but could you? I look pretty Emarati in the thowb. Not that I tried it,of course..I probably should stop talking now..but I can't get myself to do that..ok STOP!hehe


7aki Fadi said...

LOL, your comment is even funnier than the post...

Isma3, I feel like a stalker reading the whole blog, but it's funny :D

Expated in Dubai said...


You don't happen to be a teenager with lots of free time on her hands and too much extra mobile credit?

Flashbacks of 2-digit number missed-calls, incessant beep-beeping of the mobile in the middle of the night..

I'm not gonna need a restraining order against you, am I?

I kid, I kid..

7aki Fadi said...

Don't call the cops just yet, I am just stalking the blog.

or am I...ha ha ha

I kid I kid

Expated in Dubai said...