On Random Misadventure No.1: The One Where I Attempt to Ditch School

I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself (Ha! as if I would really give off my secret identity just like that, especially after the secret spy mission I've been handed from..oops I shouldn't have mentioned that, please forgive me, I can't stop loving you..please...ahem)

The thing about me is that I constantly find myself in the most awkward situations. I avoid them, belive me I do, but they just keep flocking to me like ants unto a sugarcube. It has nothing to do with clumsiness or absent-mindedness, I don't fall or bump into people, till this moment, but the situations I find myself amidst, are well, I don't have a word for it, you figure yourself..

This is a true excerpt from my needlessly action-packed life. This actually happened and till this day, almost a decade later, whenver I see the personas involved in this debacle, they look at me , laugh and say "Man, remember when you..."

And this is how the story goes...

I was in my tawjihi (highschool) year in a co-ed school. Coincidentially, my class was an all-male class. It was made out of 9 hormone-raging, twisted , psychopathic males in the entire class of 1999. We acted like any all-male class throughout the illustrous kingdom of Jordan.

Wild animals.

We beat each other, harassed the girls, made rude noises during classes, played a game called ja7she (literally translated to 'The Mule')which constitutes of 2 teams, one bending over and the others jumping on their backs till the whole man-made structure tumbled inexorably (I like to think that there was no sexual implication in this game), vandalized school equipment and staff cars (I'm not proud of it, but it was helluva fun)

Each of the 9 had an attribute unique to himself, an Ocean's 11 sort of thing. There was one who specialized in paper airplanes and pranks, there was the devilish smart one, the organizer and planner, the resource manager. I have established a solid, hard-earned social status of the trouble-starter.

It was 3 of us, ditching class, chest pumped high and stomachs swallowed in, walking like the astronauts from Armageddon (Think slow-motion trot, tough, bad-boy glances here and there)


School Principal out of nowhere (screeching top of her lungs) : Saaaaami, Humaaaaaam, Raaaaaaaaed, come over here! (Kindly note I haven't used my real name here, but will refer to myself as Sami from now on)
Me, Humam and Raed look at each other: Shit man, we're screwed!

It was every man to himself now. Or more likely, every wild animal to itself. Humam runs towards the laboratories, Raed runs down to the playground.

I hide behind a hallway door.

Thinking (smartly, may I add) that the school principal will be distracted by Humam and Raed, she'll follow them though the hallway and downstairs and once she is past me I will emerge from my hiding, victorious, laughing at their silly faces that they got caught.

But Murphy's law strongly dictates that nothing works to plan.

The Principal walks past the door, the sweat on my burrow starts to dry. I think to myself, I am liberated, this is it, Sami you're a genius. No warning, no detention, no 'bring in your parents' again, my asshole friends will suffer alone. Muwahahahahaha.

She stops. Taps her shoe wildly.

Why isn't she rolling along? Why did she stop?

I look behind my back.

The door I was hiding behind was made out of glass, my shadow transpired through it, clear as the glass purportedly concealing it.

That day, my 2 warning-free friends passed by the Principal's office, hysterically crying with laughter and pointing at me, while the Principal, smiling smugly to herself, scribbled my name on yet another unwarranted warning.

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