23.5.07

On Random Misexcerpt from my Everyday Life and Such

Me doing some paperwork at some manager's office back at work.
Middle Manager: Please photocopy this and bring it back to put it in your file..
Me: Okie !
Middle Manager continues to shuffle papers randomly to circulate the air within the tiny office.
Me (attempting to be proactive): Where can I find a photocopying machine in this vicinity?
Middle Manager: The office next to me has a photocopier
Me: Okie !
Middle Manager eyes me strangely urging me to go to the office next door so he can be free to shuffle papers randomly to circulate the air within the tiny office.

I go into the office next door where a less-than-average looking and visibly-lonely girl sits silently, randomly shuffling papers of her own..

Me: Hi..
Less-than-average-looking and visibly-lonely girl (beaming): HI!
Me: Can I use your photocopying machine?
Less-than-average-looking girl(slightly disappointed): Sure!
She goes on to shuffle her papers somberly.
I put the papers in the photocopying machine and press the fattest button I could find.
The voice inside my head aka Sami: Man say something, the silence is killing me..
Me(to Sami): What do you want me to say?
Sami: Just say anything!! I can't take this anymore..
Me(to less-than-average-looking girl): What's your sign?
Sami: WHAT??? Of all the things you could say you chose that??
Me(to Sami): You told me to say something..
Sami: Yeah but not THAT!! sheesh!!
Less-than-average-looking girl (coyly smiling): Guess!
Me(to Sami): See it wasn't that bad after all...
Sami: Mmmmpphh
Me: Oo I love guessing games..Cancer..?
Less-than-average-looking girl: No..
Me: Capricorn..?
Less-than-average-looking girl :No..
Me: Taurus..?
Less-than-average-looking girl :No..
I go on to list all the horoscopes of all the girls I knew in my life.
Me: I give up! Give me a hint,,
Less-than-average-looking girl (still smiling): Something bad..hehe..
Me(instantly): 3adra..? (Translated to Virgo, though the literal translation is virgin)
Less-than-average-looking girl (Color red seeping from her neck to fill her whole face): La2!! 3a2rab! (Translated to No!! Scorpio, though the literal translation is No!! Scorpion)
Me: Oh! Yeah, that is bad..
Sami: Hehehehehehehehehe!
Me: Ok my paper is photocopied.. See ya!

You might guess that it never worked out with this particular girl..

DISCLAIMER: Even though Sami initially disagreed on 'what's your horoscope?' to be a good ice-breaker or pickup line, my long and hard experience has taught me otherwise. Saying 'What's your horoscope?' to a girl will almost always get you her attention immediately and she will most likely ask you the same and you can take it from there..
Unless you're an ugly awkward, motherfucker of course..
Then nothing will help and you might as well shoot yourself..

28 comments:

Rami said...

What is your sign? just to break the comments ice:)

RuLeS: To LiVe YoUr LiFe said...

nice style of painting ur experiences on the blog ... :)

you're helping the cause of underemployed people who have to spend time in the offices

Serendipity said...

LooL @ 3adra? No, 3a2rab. hehehe nicely written :) Though I have to disagree with u! I am a female and u wudnt get my attention by asking me about my sign! I hate horoscopes and I dont know anything about them! so its not a rule, u shudnt use it all the time :P

Expated in Dubai said...

@ rami my sign is the donkey, what's yours? :)
@ RuLeS: To LiVe YoUr LiFe hehe thanks I know what you mean, I'm helping the cause of overemployed people who spend time at the office aka me
@ serendipity I liked the movie, it's the only chick flick that I didn't feel like shoving the remote control up my throat to ease the pain of watching it, I agree it's not a rule, that's why I said 'almost always' and let's face it many girls are into horoscopes..so since horoscopes are out, what would get your attention? :) bling-bling? hehe

i*maginate said...

LOL. Cute things happen in the world of paperwork! Or not so cute since you didn't score...

Well...hmm..starsigns are a good mid-conversation question when you're well into flirting with somebody, and the flirting is reciprocated. As an ice-breaker, I don't think it would have equal success!

Pick-up lines...how about 'what's your mobile number?' Or...'take my mobile number'. I think this one is totally cheesy but works if the girl is interested. I recall one of my exes asked me this, and I said "why should I take it?" and he said "to keep in touch". Such a cheesy pick-up line but cheesy often works!

^_^

Expated in Dubai said...

In my defense I wasn't looking forward to score with this particular girl, I just wanted to break the nerve-wracking silence; she was below my standard rating of approachable women of 7.5. The thing about "what's your horoscope?" as an ice-breaker is you do it in the silliest manner. Once you do, you got a whole world of potential..

'Take my number' is too upfront for me. I wouldn't give out my number if a girl approached me with that :)

7aki Fadi said...

Well if the guy is cute the line would totally work but if "you're an ugly awkward, motherfucker" (ha ha ha ) it won't work.

And asking for a number is totally NOT cool

Expated in Dubai said...

Exactly my point 7aki fadi, and thank you for pointing out the clear and apparent truth of my cuteness,hehe I agree too that asking for the number is uncool, it's like buying a Nintendo Wii without having a television..

7aki Fadi said...

Hold on there expated, don't put words in my mouth "apparent truth of my cuteness".
The girl is less than 7.5 so I think you had her at "Can I use your photocopying machine?." he he he

Expated in Dubai said...

Lol, point taken 7f, I probably had her before that at "hi" just like Tom Cruise had Renee Zellweger in Jerry Maguire..Damn you Hollwywood super-looking hunks..Damn you to death.. So no one got the notion that I need a TV for my new Nintendo Wii? It's just lying there in the box you know..Might as well pitch in and get me a TV..no less than 40" LCD's plz

Bliss said...

Whats your sign?
Something bad
VIRGIN??? hehehehe
Only in this day and age is being a virgin a bad thing :)

Expated in Dubai said...

Hehe, insightful comment, bliss
Well, it's just that how can someone go on and say that my sun sign is "Virgin" when they're not, that's the "bad" part for me..it must be unnerving to be that hypocritical..

KJ said...

*sniffles*

*points gun to head*

Expated in Dubai said...

lol, this blog is just getting warmed up, wait till you hear the rest of The Misadventures :)

Rambling Hal said...

I feel so left out that I just came across this blog NOW and have to catch up!

And would it be bad to say that I was once picked up, oh so easily, by a guy who came up to me and told me I have interesting ears? Funny how the horoscope thing would never have worked for me but I bought the ears.

Despite my ears being quite average, if not below.

Hhmmm...I'll shut up now and continue reading your blog posts - excuse me ;)

Expated in Dubai said...

Ears?
That's like the least noticeable feature in a woman, unless they're Dumbo ears..hehe

As for the horoscope thing not working for you...Wasn't there a saying about trying things before raising judgements? There must be..If not, somebody should make it up..

Anonymous said...

So...What's your horoscope?

Zeina said...

i love it! hahaha 3adra, are you a capricorn?

Expated in Dubai said...

I'll go ahead and assume that anonymous and Zeina are actually the same person..since the comment was posted with one minute difference.But anyway no, I'm not a capricorn, but you can keep the guesses coming :)

Rania said...

you can get a girl talking when you use horoscopes, not actually GET a girl, but whatever she was bored wasn't she? :)
and for the "two" girls' comments,I'm guessing a schizophrenic like the one he is is probably a gemini or a leo, poor thing if so..no?

Expated in Dubai said...

Nope none of those. But if you're into astrology pretty well, then I'll give you a hint that I get along with both signs you mentioned pretty well :)

Rania said...

umm..i get along with them as well and I'm an Aries...so you're either an aries, libra, aquarius, saggitarius? if ur an aries congratulations but and if ur a libra...(i'd disappear if i were u)

Expated in Dubai said...

hehe, well there is no need neither to congratulate me nor for me to disappear. But yes you got my sign right :) not bad
Still not telling though :P

Rania said...

ok khalas I'm bored of this.You're either aquarius or sagittarius, and it's ok you can not tell and not use this emoticon -> :p

You're Sagittarius I know it.

Expated in Dubai said...

Bored? The fun was just getting started..And you're wrong again :)

And you don't get to tell me what to do or not to do on my own space
.

..

...

:P

Rania said...

you're an aquarian! oooh that's why your oral comm. story resembles mine, or mine resembles yours..that's why you don't use your real name...ok i'll stop here and wish you a nice multiple personality disorder life...I like how you were just politer in my space than you are now in yours..
:p

Expated in Dubai said...

And you're an Arean woman that explains the pride, fiery attitude, and the extreme mood swings.. Arean women are among the biggest schizos I ever met, wouldn't you agree?

Rania said...

you've done your research right.. :) Not exactly schizos though