On Misadventure No.3: The One Where I Blaze the Alarms in JFK Airport

While we're at the subject of airports, I wanted to gain this oppurtunity to reminsce on my earliest misadventure in airports.

I was still a kid and I was still innocent enough to think that airports or policemen held no hard feelings and grudges against me. Boy, I was wrong.

I was coming back from a camp in the US with a bunch of other Jordanian campers. Everyone was distressed and sad because they left their new friends behind. We were waiting in JFK international airport to catch a flight back to Frankfurt, then a flight from there to Amman.

Me? I faked sadness, I was too damn hungry to think of some stupid friend I made in 3 weeks and will probably never see again. Someone suggested food, and I was all the too happy to oblige. As we sat to eat our hot-dogs I felt a flowy feeling in my nose. Being the inexperienced kid I am, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand only to see a dry trail of blood. I set my mind to ignoring the blood flowing from my nose and wait for it till it settle down, if it weren't for another asshole kid screaming "DAMM!! DAMM!!" (BLOOD!!, BLOOD!!) as if the shit-head never saw a drop of blood before.

Now the whole camping kids stared at me and I had a respnisiblity to do something about it. I just can't shrug my shoulders and say "So??". I tilted my head backward and clogged my nose with my hand, got up and started what felt like an eternity of seaching for a bathroom.

I searched and searched to no avail, by that time the bleeding got worse and my clogging hand was getting soaked with blood. I returned to the hot dog restaurant where someone told me the bathroom was in the back. So I went to the back only to find a door with "Emergency Exit" Not the kind of door you want to open, trust me. But I was desperate and hoped the emergency exit would lead to an emergency bathroom. I pushed the door open and I swear to you, all the lights in the damn airport flickered on and off and a deafening alarm sounded all around the airport.

I took a startled step backwards.

Me(the beginning of many times to come): I'm screwed.

I ran away, head tilted back with a clogging hand on my nose in the eternal search for the bathroom, till I washed up in one, all the time the alarms blaring on and on. When I came back to my fellow campers with a stupid "It wasn't me" smile on my face, they said police came asking them if they saw anyone go into the exit and they told them they didn't.

10 years later there was a reunion of campers. One huge guy was looking at me funnily and annoyingly.

Guy: Hey!! Aren't you...? (tilts his head back and put hit hand on his nose)
Guy: HAHAHHAHA!! Hey Firas, come check this out. It's the (tilts his head back and put hit hand on his nose) (roaring with laughter with Firas)

Apparently, it became a reknown story told over and over between fellow campers and their friends.

Damn, I hate airports.


KJ said...

Look on the bright side, you're gonna become part of Jordanian folklore

wonders said...

lol!! :D that must have been interesting to see, otherwise they wouldn't have remembered all this time :)

Islamic ChoCoHoLic said...

hahah nice.. at least they remembered you! check out my blog my last video was about "BlooooDUH" hahha

my friend told me about your blog and how hilarious it is!

glad i checked it out :)

*sa7n mansaf of appreciation

Expated in Dubai said...

@kj, yeah that's my ultimate goal, really.
@wonders, Yeah it must be something when a 13-year old kid pulls off the alarm in the busiest airport in the US with one hand, hehe
@Islamic Chocolholic, Say hello to your friend for me, I'm also a secret fan of your blog and cow. I am inclined to refuse your Mansaf because I am confident that the poisoning I carried with me to UAE was from one of the ten Mansaf invitations in ten days of vacation. hehe

CG said...


Imagine being remembered as the bloody-nosed kid who brought down homeland security.

Expated in Dubai said...

hehe yeah I agree about the Mansaf thing. Well, we all got to be remembered for something, wouldn't you agree?

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