[Based on true events.]

"Can I selve you something sil?" Said the tiny Asian waitress trying futilely to phase out the obvious mispronunciations.
"Can I have a menu please?" I asked, fiddling with the ID badge strung around my neck.
The waitress scampered off quickly to fetch a menu. She'll be gone for awhile, I know.
Nobody noticed the brief lapse as the pianist quickly flipped the page, then fleeted her long fingers along the grand keyboard to continue playing the mesmerizing tunes of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. The atmosphere was dampened by the monotonous murmurs broken by an occasional rise and fall of laughter of guests. Glasses clinked against each other, juices were poured lavishly. Arabs wearing head cloths, and dishdashes clear as the finest wine huddled in fours and fives as Indians across from them, listened tentatively, staring away, while suited assistants laughed nervously, or glanced furtively at their master's faces.
I looked back at the newspaper. Where is the damn Appointments section? What is taking them so long?
"May I have a seat?" said a gruff voice
I looked up. A large, black man wearing a similarly black suit, with sunglasses studded with jewels hanging from his unbuttoned shirt stood in front of me. The monotone of blackness was only broken by the glimmering golden watch on his wrist, and a shimmering diamond ring on his pinky and a rare cleavage of sparkling teeth.
"Sure, go ahead" I said.
After a short silence, mounted by the pianist folding her book, standing up, and drifting away with her night dress crawling on the floor..
"How are you?" he asked
"What?" It took me a while to grasp the heavy accent.
"I said how are you?"
"I'm great what about you?" I lied
"I'm good"
"Where are you from?" I asked
"Sierra Leone."
"Oh I see. Interesting"
"You know Sierra Leone?"
"Yes I heard about it. There are peace-keeping forces there. And I know that Sierra Leone is a main exporter of diamonds". I owe that piece of information to Kanye West.
"Yes that is why all the wars are going on. They have diamonds as big as melons." He said balling his fist "It is peaceful now. Sierra Leone is the number one exporter of diamonds in Africa". He said.
"Yes it is. What about you? Where are you from?"
"Why don't you guess where I'm from?" I said. "I'll give you 3 guesses"
He was taken aback. His penetrating eyes fixated on mine, then darted around the lobby, then looked straight back at me.
It was my turn to be taken aback. My eyes rounded. No one gets it right from the first time. ever.
"You are correct." I said "No one gets it right from the first time." This time, I wasn't lying.
The man boomed a big, hearty laugh, and tapped my extended hand.
"I am good in reading people and understanding their psychology. Jordan, you tell me. I want to visit Jordan"
"You should it's a beautiful country. It has a city carved in stone that was voted recently as a World Wonder."
"That's interesting. I sure will visit soon. What do you do?"
"I'm a consultant here. What about you?" I asked
"I'm a business man" he stuttered. "I'm the son of an ex-leader. How long you been here?"
"Well I've been here for six months. Still pretty new. Fresh off the boat as they say. You live here?"
"No I live in London. Actually I lived in lots of places. London, Africa, Paris. I'm here for a visit. I got a 3-month visa and I only spent a month here. So I can come and leave anytime I want."
"You've been to Cityscape?" I asked
"Yeah actually. " He stuttered again. "Lots of interesting opportunities"
"Yes, it seems the real-estate market is booming. Everyone wants to have a piece of the pie. People say it will slow down but I doubt it."
"Yes, it is interesting"
There were a lot of things that were interesting about this conversation.
"Do they pay you well?"
"I'm okay actually"
"Do you have cars?"
"Yes I do have a car."
"Can I have one?"
I paused. Why would he want my car? Oh I get it. Cards damnit!
I reached to my jacket pocket quickly enough for him not to notice the momentary black out. I fingered the business cards around I took for my meetings.
"Here you go"
He glanced at it, then put it in his jacket pocket.
"I will call you"
"Sure you can call me anytime."
"My name is Momo." he said getting up and shaking my hand.
"And I am Sami. " I said, shaking his.
"Nice to meet you"
"Nice to meet you too, Momo."

PS If found appealing there will be a chapter 2 in which readers might participate in the shaping of fictional events.
PPS I realize this is a scam. Thank you for your concern. However, I can't help but indulge my overactive imagination, if any of it resembled the truth. I know my life will become something like Tom Cruise in The Firm.


Qwaider قويدر said...

Good writing skills!
I bet you anything Momo will turn out to be the guy who's been sending me all those spam emails asking me to take his 11.7 million dollars in return for smuggling 22 million dollars for him to a Bank in the US. But before he can give me my 11.7 million dollar he needs a little deposite of $400 dollars ..
What a bargain!

wonders said...

interesting Sami :) i have to agree with Qwaider, i was thinking the same! careful with those guys... if i were you i'd pack up change my number and go somewhere else lol!! :D

KJ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Expated in Dubai said...

@qwaider, yes that's exactly what I was thinking when I saw him. I fully understand it's a scam. However, I can't help but indulge my overactive imagination if it is real.
@wonders, pack up and go somewhere else? And what would you do without me in Dubai? :)

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

ahhh u were there too? hmm if i knew u were having a convo with momo at cityscape wud have tried to locate u and just randomly say hi :D wudnt it freak u out if someone came up to and said hey r u the blogger sam??

and for the life of me i cant get why the biggest, meanest, and scariest of africans have names so delicate like momo and jojo!

Expated in Dubai said...

Yep was there. Will probably be there too today. But anyway I wouldn't think you will be able to locate me (unless you scour for the best-looking Jordanian there, hehe I'm kidding(OK I have an ego problem, shoot me)) since I do my utmost to hide my real identity and "Sami" is nothing but a facade
Besides, I'm not that easy..if you want to ask me out you should do it the proper way..
Go to my parent's home in Amman

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

looool ask u out u say! bayby (in a ghetto accent with one index finger rotating in a semi-circle action on the left side of my shoulder while elbow resting on hip) if i wanned i wud have!

7ashash :D

wonders said...

well, that is a good question.. but after careful consideration of the facts i have came to the conclusion:

I'll live!! :D

P.S i swear i knew your real name was not Sami.. don't know why but it doesn't sound like you... :P

Expated in Dubai said...

@PŕōuđPāŀĩ, so you women gather in a yearly conference and come up with lines like "if I wanted to ask you out, I woulda" or how does it work, I'm curious? :)
@wonders, some living differs from living, yours is existing, hehe I joke. So I was wondering :P, what do I sound like? Zorro?

7aki Fadi said...

Dude, where are you?

Expated in Dubai said...

hayny. inti wein?

Completely Anonymous and 100% Private said...

You sound like an ahmed...don't ask me why

So...when can we (I usually refer to myself as we) come for a cup of coffee at your parents house?

I always had a thing for funny guys.I guess I found a new way to kill my work boredom (propose to random guys online)...sighs.

Expated in Dubai said...

close :) but not quite right..
Yeah, I'll email you my parent's number because I don't want any stalkers of the blog to catch it and bombard my happily approaching retirment parents with endless phone calls where my Mom will proceed to give you a pinch and hair-pull test..

Completely Anonymous and 100% Private said...

I can almost swear I left a comment here...Did you delete it? did it ever post?

Expated in Dubai said...

nope, it would say if I deleted a comment..
Is this a drunk-comment thing? Is there such a thing actually?

Completely Anonymous and 100% Private said...


I wasn't drunk. I was ATTEMPTING to work at home, and got carried away with blogging instead ifft.

I guess the stupid thing didn't post it. This is what I said:

Ok, now I know what your name is :) It was my second choice but I won't post it here.

You could email me your parents number at private1113@gmail.com. Your mother should feel free to pull my hair/teeth but only if I get to reciprocate. I need to check your genes too you know.

Expated in Dubai said...

And no my name is not Mohammed :P
What you want to pull my Mom's hair and teeth? hehe I'm kidding
My genes are perfectly fine last time they drew blood for my residency..
Why don't you add me to your MSN and then we can proceed with family arrangements and crap.. :)
I'm warning you though my dowry is pretty hefty..hehehehe

Completely Anonymous and 100% Private said...

Mohammed was sooooo not my second guess. Tempt me again and I will post my second guess and you will be sorry mister cause I think it is your name!

I don't have msn at work (and I usually sign as offline anyway)...come to gmail chit chat.

I just put my email up there!

Expated in Dubai said...

Shit, do I know you?
I'm busy today :P..
(Yes I am Abu-T2eel, shoot me)

Al Ramahi said...

I told you a million times don't befriend strangers and weird people!! You just don't listen, your getting an ass whipping when you’re in Amman!!

Expated in Dubai said...

hehe, that's another reason for me not to come back I guess :P
I'll have to wait for my ass-whipping when you're in Dubai :)
Besides, weird people have a way of gravitating to me, I just can't explain

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